Pride and Prejudice - Movie Adaptations Ranked

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Pride and Prejudice

This romantic novel written by Jane Austen in 1813 is so widely loved that I find it hard to think that I even need to give a basic recap of the story.  Of course, this is going to contain spoilers because I'm going to give detailed opinions of what I do and do not like about all of the following adaptations.  So if you haven't read the story, you can leave now and go do so without spoiling anything.  If you stay, you were warned.

This story of the Bennet household and the search of all the daughters for happiness is such a lovely story.  It's a happy feel-good story where love triumphs.  Despite what some people might tell you, both Elizabeth and Darcy have failings.  They are both proud and they are both prejudiced.  Darcy learns to lessen the weight he gives to family pride and value personal qualities in Lizzy.  Lizzy learns that she must let go of hurt pride in her appearance to move forward and be happy.  Both characters have instances where they have pre-judged people.  It's a story about balancing proper pride with rational actions, learning to regulate emotions, and become better people.  As with other Austen novels, there are real obstacles to happiness but all is resolved in a believable and satisfactory manner.

I will be honest.  I didn't want to love Pride and Prejudice.  I was told by an Aunt of mine that I had to watch it and that I would love it because "all women do".  Well, that was enough for me to decide I wanted nothing to do with it for several years.  Luckily I was forced to read it in school and I loved it despite my stubborn decision not to.  So, here we are.

Pride and Prejudice is a fantastic book and if you've only watched the movies and love it, I highly encourage you to go read the story.  It's delightful.  And if money is an object, there are plenty of places you can find it for free as it is now in the public domain.  There are free versions on Kindle and of course, there are libraries.  There is even a website dedicated to making free audiobooks of public domain titles.  You can search for it here at https://librivox.org/.

Ok, so here is my ranking of all the Pride and Prejudice adaptations that I have seen.  I will update this as I see more.  It is an entirely subjective ranking.  I have rather firm opinions.  Ok, you've been warned.  Let's start.

1. Pride and Prejudice 1995 BBC mini-series - starring Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth

         This mini-series is perfect.  It is the best Pride and Prejudice adaptation of all time.  (These are my opinions obviously, you may disagree and even feel at liberty of commenting thus).  The clothes, the scenery, the music, the pacing, it's all perfect.  What can I say?  I love it.

         I love Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth.  I think she does the most amazing job of bringing the character to life.  This is my all-time favorite version of Lizzy.  They portray her as smart but not arrogant, witty but not mean, kind and caring, pretty without being vain.  She's independent but not forceful.  She's realistic and hopeful.

         Colin Firth is excellent as Mr. Darcy.  He does such a lovely job of growing emotionally throughout the film series.  He is believably aloof in the beginning and transforms into this shy, tender, and awkward person trying to improve himself by the end.  You can easily believe that he always had that underneath but you didn't discern it at first under his formality.  From the scowls at the beginning to the more vulnerable admiration across the room when Elizabeth saves his sister from distress, Colin Firth plays this character to perfection.  I love the way they use the recalling of earlier scenes to show that he is thinking about Lizzy and can't quite shake her even after he thinks he has no hope.  I do think that one gratuitous fan-pleasing scene with Colin Firth diving in the pond is silly.  But every other scene is rational and lovely.

         The length of this mini-series allows them to linger on subtle emotional scenes to achieve the correct tone as well as to tell the story at a pace that unfolds naturally.  They don't rush the subtle scenes.  The falling in love feels like it believably has enough time to change from anger to passion on Lizzy's part.  The pacing is perfect with beautiful scenery to allow you to reflect on different portions of the film and feel the emotional impact of them.  Then faster-paced scenes are used to convey the uproar and distress of scenes like Lydia's running away.

         This is a rather faithful adaptation and I think it captures the magic of the story lovingly without feeling like it's simply retelling someone else's tale without any magic.  Mr. Collins is perfectly disgusting and obsequious.  Lady Catherine DeBurgh is spot on, imperious, and overbearing.  Lecturing Elizabeth from across the garden with insults even as Lizzy leaves her.  I love that they portray Lizzy actually having intense feelings about this scene.  Even if she has been slighted, treating Lady Catherine DeBurgh as she does is a huge deal.  She would feel as though she had just lost all chance of ever being with Mr. Darcy now and it would be emotional.  You feel Lizzy's distress in this scene as the carriage races off and she breathes heavily.  Such nuanced lovely performances.

         The only part I don't love watching over and over is the part where Mrs. Bennet shrieks away about Lydia.  I think the portrayal is perfect, but I can't always handle her irritating high-pitched wailing and shrieking.

         I simply can't find any fault with this version.  So, I like it best.  Every summer when the afternoon temperatures have driven us inside and we despair of ever going out again, my mother and I put in this version of Pride and Prejudice.  We have tea and scones and cookies.   And we settle in for a one or two-day viewing of the green English countryside and cute little crop jackets, emotional subtlety, and easy manners.  Yes, it's lengthy, but it's so worthwhile.  I often watch the last hour and a half of this movie when I need a pick-me-up.

2. Pride and Prejudice 1940 - starring Greer Garson & Laurence Olivier

This was such a delightful surprise.  It has some departures from the original story in the book, but it is in character with the personalities we know and love.  For the most part, this movie is written beautifully, economically and for a black and white 1940 version it holds up surprisingly well.

Are there random scenes where the heroine stares dramatically out the window and refuses to look at the man she loves until he has left and then she runs to the door to chase after him but it's too late?  Yes.  It's a 1940 film.  There is a certain grandeur, a certain haughtiness (or just perfectly poised calm) to the women that comes with the territory for the golden age of Hollywood.

It's only two hours long so they squeeze a lot into small scenes but it's done with a surprising amount of elegance and ease.  Perhaps this is because the screenplay was co-written by Aldous Huxley.  Yes, the one and only rather famous (though not at the time) Aldous Huxley. 

Although this movie takes the liberty of setting the story in another time.  This version is set roughly forty years later than the original so that the film could use lavish Victorian-era gowns.  I didn't mind this departure since the manners and social customs at play are largely the same for both times and did not seem out of place to me.

If you can get past this and the sense that the story is really taking place in what feels like a truly Antebellum setting, it's really a delightful adaptation.  Remember too that it was filmed in 1940 and despite their wishes that it could be filmed in England, WWII sort of got in the way of that.

Apparently based on a stage play, this charming retelling of Pride and Prejudice also takes liberties with the plot, most notably altering the way things unfold at the end.  But, as controversial as this may be, I rather enjoyed it.

The ending is a bit of a rushed affair, it's true.  Yet it all follows such a despondent scene that the hasty pace of the ending doesn't irritate me the way it has some people.  Right before all the real excitement kicks up we've been lamenting the scandal Lydia has caused.  The family is packing and considering a move to Margate where they will be unknown and perhaps have a chance of making a new life amongst new people.  (A departure from the original, but a valid option for a family facing such a scandal.)  They are all upset, and glum, and Mrs. Bennet is melodramatically dejected on the fainting couch.  So the excessive excitement that follows is rather welcome.

Everything in the film is done with incredible efficiency.  So, Lydia and Wickham arrive home immediately after Lizzy and Mr. Bennet have gotten the letter from Uncle Gardner that they have married.  This is fine because it makes sense that they could have traveled at roughly the same time as the post.  They have barely arrived, however, when Lady Catherine de Bourgh arrives to stir things up.  I think the film could have benefited from a  few minute's pause between the events here.  But I still enjoyed their take on everything.

Once Lady Catherine has scolded Lizzy, things take an interesting turn.  Lady Catherine leaves Longbourne and meets Mr. Darcy just outside the door.  Mr. Darcy, we find, had apparently sent her in as an ambassador to find out if Lizzy may have changed feelings about him.  Lady Catherine was apparently charmed by Lizzy's obstinacy and likes her as a match for Mr. Darcy.  Yes, this is a break from the original.  But I found it rather charming.  I never liked Lady Catherine, but I find it cute that she likes another headstrong and obstinate woman, who may remind her of herself.

There is a great deal of efficiency in the script and use of dialogue that I very much enjoy.  I love that we don't have to be told how much Mr. Bingley admires Jane we see it unfold very quickly.  He spots her across the room and is introduced moments later.  By the end of the first dance, we hear him saying that she has spoken of all her friends and acquaintances without saying a single mean thing about them.  We learn of Jane's character and why Mr. Bingley likes her all in one of the briefest exchanges.  It's beautiful.

I love the dialogue.  There are such lovely little lines sparkling throughout the movie.  Here are some of the ones that caught my fancy:
"5,000 and unmarried. That's the most heartening piece of news since the battle of Waterloo" - Mrs. Bennet

"Someday I'll tell you what sort of a creature you are, Miss Lydia" - Wickham
"Foolish?!  Headstrong?!  Dear me, Lady Catherine will never approve." - Mr. Collins.
"Honesty is a greatly overvalued virtue!" - Lizzy, after Darcy has proposed by admitting his scruples
"How clever you are Miss Bingley, to know something about which you are ignorant." - Lizzy

An original scene is at the "garden party at Netherfield" where Mr. Darcy undertakes to teach Elizabeth archery.  He instructs her and then she thoroughly bests him, clearly being in no need of instruction on the subject from anyone.  I love that she says nothing and allows herself to laugh out loud at his surprise and actually compliment him on taking it all so well.  It's a cute scene.  And I rather love that they introduce archery.  Perhaps this is my bias as a lady archer myself.

  

I don't mind that Lizzy is portrayed as a bit older and wiser.  She does come off a bit haughty and in some scenes does seem untouched by feelings.  But you still see her wit and her tenacity in this portrayal.  It is a bit rushed the way they suddenly reveal her feelings for Mr. Darcy.  I wish there had been at least one more scene to develop them.  We did see glimpses of her struggle with liking him in spite of her determination not to.  I still would have liked a few more moments where we see her falling for him.  Maybe after he writes he leaves and she has refused his help with the Lydia scandal, or another scene where they interact.  But I do find her likable in this role and it's still a charming adaptation.

Mr. Darcy as portrayed by Olivier is not my favorite Darcy.  But he has a certain charm.  I find him too variable, too eager to please Lizzy, and then tooo easily scared off by one party (after his marked attentions).  He has deliberately tried to be charming, asked her dance, is clearly interested in Lizzy to start with and then he suddenly backs off.  He is not strictly to my liking.  But I can see where Colin Firth, who plainly admired this performance, was influenced by this soft portrayal of the character.  I personally think Colin Firth perfected it, portraying Mr. Darcy, as shy and slightly unsure of how to behave with strangers and people of lower rank, but not unkind or too eager to please.  It is an admittedly difficult line to walk, in order to keep Mr. Darcy feeling distant without feeling too aloof, not too eager, but not without feelings.  I wish this Mr. Darcy had not been scared off so easily from Lizzy's side when he saw her family.  He could have at least still danced with her even if his manner had grown colder after the family's impropriety.  I also would have preferred more warmth from him in the proposal scene.  More regret when he leaves her.

I like that Mary, amongst the other sisters, is given a little room to breathe as a character.  Kitty is shown being drunk at the parties, clearly following along with Lydia.  Jane is shown being the sweet thing we all know and love.  Mary, who is usually overlooked even by all of us adoring fans, is given a little bit of unexpected screen time.  Yes, she sings and plays the piano.  She's also shown purchasing books, and squinting and trying her best to sparkle, and it's all endearing, though it's not to her mother's satisfaction.

I really enjoy the portrayal of Mr. Collins as a self-important, pompous fool.  He's bumbling and unaware of himself, not an oily, cartoon.  It's possible that he's the best portrayal of Mr. Collins in any adaptation.  The way he talks to Mrs. Bennet about selecting one of her daughters and says "When a certain melancholy event," meaningful glance sideways at Mr. Bennet, then looks back at Mrs. Bennet "occurs..."  It's just so perfectly acted.  He's being so polite that he's being offensive.  It's amazing.  You can see a good sample of him and this moment in the clip here. 

Mr. Bennet enjoys such a lovely portrayal in this version.  He's so gentle and lovely.  I love that he still teases his wife, but it has a softer feeling to it.  I quite like the dynamic of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's relationship in this version.  After the amazingly silly carriage race to beat the Lucas's home so that Mr. Bennet could visit Mr. Bingley first the Bennet's have a lovely exchange.  Mrs. Bennet flies into Mr. Bennet's library all agitated and trying to convince him to go at once.  She mentions that he should have seen Lady Lucas pushing her horses to beat them home.  Knowing his wife rather well, he slyly asks "Did she win?" Mrs. Bennet snorts and says "Indeed she did NOT."  Mr. Bennet just smiles.  They are cute together.  And in fact, they are cute at the end watching from a window as Lizzy and Darcy kiss in the garden.  Then she bids him come look as the movie ends with Kitty and Mary both seeming to have found suitors of their own, of military and musical background respectively.

Possibly my favorite random detail in a scene happens at the start of the fast-paced ending.  Mrs. Bennet has been lying dispiritedly on the couch "too weak to even eat any soup" when it becomes apparent that Lydia and Wickham, now married, have just arrived.  Mrs. Bennet, practically dying from sorrow and shame and worry, leaps from the fainting couch with such vigor that she practically kicks an entire table of tea things straight over at Mr. Collins.  It's amazing.  I laughed so hard at the moment and Mr. Collins having to jump.  Mrs. Bennet herself is also treated with a lovely amount of nuance.  She is every bit the Mrs. Bennet we know, but she's less irritating, a little less stupid, and has a few great lines herself.  At the arrival of Mr. Collins, she rolls her eyes and exclaims "Oh! The vultures! They're here already."  The dialogue in this version is simply the best, even when it's not strictly faithful to the book.

As for the ending, it does not follow the exact footsteps of the book, but I find it charming.  I like that all the Bennet girls get a happy ending in this version.  I also, cannot help but love seeing both Jane and Lizzy have their men professing love to them in such a sumptuous garden.

3. Pride and Prejudice 2005 - starring Keira Knightley

          Yes, it's good, no it's not as good as the 1995 BBC mini-series.  I'm going to get all detailed about it because my father maintains that this is the best version of Pride and Prejudice.  I have several reasons I believe this cannot be deemed the best version.  To be fair, it really is a solid movie adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.  I just don't see how you could think it's better than the 1995 BBC mini-series.

          Let's begin.  First, I don't like the way that they portray Elizabeth Bennet, the main character.  Lizzy is smart and independent, yes, but she doesn't completely ignore social conventions, as she does in this film.  In this version, Lizzy is improper.  An example.  In this movie, Lizzy doesn't just encourage Jane to accept an invitation to visit their Aunt in Town, she demands that Jane go.  There is no mention of an invitation and the scene plays out like the whole thing is Lizzy's brilliant idea that she enacts without any consent or knowledge on the part of the Aunt.  Or Jane's for that matter, as Lizzy forcefully packs a suitcase before Jane has even replied that she wants to go.  A single line about accepting the invitation would have made this slightly less awkwardly forward and out of character for the time.  Without an invitation, this would have been so inappropriate and she and Jane alone of all their family are meant to have behaved with propriety and correct manners.  That alone is what makes them worthy of marrying Darcy and Bingley despite their lower status and the impropriety of their whole family.

          In the scenes, after they discover Lydia and Wickham hiding in London I don't like the way they take the father's lines and give them to Lizzy.  Lizzy is concerned for her sister and the way it will affect the whole family.  She had no thoughts about money and debts.  To have this movie make Lizzy sound as though she's so aware of Wickham's debts and the amount that would be required to convince him to marry Lydia is absurd.  It's too modern.  It lacks the original feeling or surprise and horror she feels upon hearing it.  In the books and other adaptations, Mr. Bennet, who has been involved in the particulars is numb to the horror of the facts that when he tells Lizzy and Jane we experience the shock and horror through them.  Lizzy delivering that information all casually as they run into the house just feels wrong.  And it doesn't even give us a moment to realize how vast that sum is or feel anything about it, because we are literally running in the house as it happens to go do something else.

          And why does Lizzy, only Lizzy, wear ugly gowns to the balls, unlike everyone else?  We know she has nice clothes because we see her in them later.  So dumb.  So everyone else in the house puts on their best dresses to go to the ball and Lizzy just chooses to wear a sad-looking green gown that she could comfortably garden in?  Come on Hollywood!  Stop perpetuating the idea that smart independent women can't care about how they look!  You do not have to be ugly to be smart, or be dumb if you are pretty.  It's ridiculous!  You can be smart AND pretty.  You can be independent and still want to look your best in a pretty gown at a ball!

She's wearing this ugly green dress to a country ball.  Jane dressed up, but Lizzy didn't.

          Even if they had done a nice balance of dresses, some pretty and some that Lizzy only meant to wear at home and were clearly less nice, that would have been better.  I don't mind her wearing worn old dresses and sad coats when she swings in the back courtyard while manor farm life happens around her.  I like it actually.  But to have her wear a rubbish dress to a ball, it's just so wrong.

She has one nice gown in the whole movie, why didn't she wear this to the other balls?

          I do not like the scene following Darcy's proposal where Elizabeth/Keira Knightley spends a whole day staring into a mirror as the light changes.  Yes, it's a lovely job of lighting, but she shows no emotions.  You just stare at her face because she's Keira Knightley and you should apparently like her eyes that much.  It accomplishes nothing, shows no internal distress or external emotion.  We cut so many scenes to keep the movie this short, but we waste all this time staring at Keira Knightley without even creating an emotionally subtle scene.  And I know that this can be done with just an actor and a mirror because it was done in the sensitive and gorgeous 1995 Persuasion.  Yes, this is just one scene, but I think it shows the lack of subtlety given to emotional nuance in the whole movie.

          Perhaps more irritating, because a difference of writing in the dialogue could have alleviated it, are the points where the audience is being lectured at about how that time period works.  For instance, Lizzy is lectured by Charlotte, her best friend in the world about how Lizzy ought not to judge her for being poor and scared and accepting Mr. Collins' hand in marriage.  Lizzy would have known about her circumstances.  They could easily have told the audience these circumstances by having Charlotte confide in Lizzy that she felt herself a drain on her family and feared for her lack of prospects.  A single sentence would have done it.  Instead, they make it sound as though Lizzy is cruel and doesn't understand anything so that they can lecture the modern audience on life for women in the Regency period.  Isn't it better when we remind you that you're dumb and don't know how life works and take you out of the story to remind you how modern you are?  It's frustrating because it could be so easily solved.  If you have to have the character shout something at another character who is meant to be their best friend and confidant you didn't explain it well enough.

          Mr. Collins in this is just ridiculous.  Unbelievably so to me.  He's a cartoon not a real human in this version.  It's really hard to see why Charlotte marries him, even knowing the story.  Perhaps this is why they felt they had to make Charlotte have her outburst at Lizzy?

          But those points aside, the movie is generally good and the costumes are beautiful (for the most part, aside from Lizzy's) and the scenery is gorgeous.  The music in this film is stunningly beautiful.  The soundtrack completely gorgeous.  It is sumptuous, nuanced, and moving all on its own.  I love the way you see the house in more detail with more evidence of family life.  The piano playing with people running in and out of frame, the dogs wandering through.  I love the way that you see manor life portrayed seasonally changing as Lizzy swings.  That was a lovely way to include some history without beating the audience over the head with it.  

Daily life in the Bennet household

          The casting is generally great.  Bingley and Darcy and all the Bennet's were excellently cast I felt.  I had a problem with some of Lizzy's performances, but I believe it's how they asked her to portray Lizzy, not because Keira Knightley couldn't have done better.  I quite liked this Darcy.  The proposal scene between Elizabeth and Darcy is pretty steamy in this movie (and that's always nice).

          The gratuitous romantic scene at the end of the film with Elizabeth and Darcy kissing at Pemberley is charming.  The Bingley proposal scene is excellent.  Actually, the scenes on either side of it are excellent too.  The way the family flies into an uproar at his coming and tidies the room to look perfectly proper just seconds before the gentlemen enter is perfect.  That is my father's favorite scene by the way.  The scene where Bingley is rehearsing how to get through the formalities and straight to the proposal is delightful.  It's a delightful film and it is considerably shorter than my favorite, which does give it an edge on some days.  I will watch it again, if nothing else, I'll watch it with my Dad.  

4. Pride and Prejudice 1980 mini-series

           I've seen it, it's Pride and Prejudice.  It's not an unfaithful adaptation of the story, but it's just not good.  There were a few things that didn't work for me.

          The biggest thing for me is that I didn't like Lizzy in this version.  She feels like an arrogant smart-ass.  She's completely unlikeable.  Lizzy and Darcy have no chemistry from what I can see.  Darcy seems stiff and you don't believe that he has any feelings for Lizzy in the end.

          Caroline Bingley is insufferable in this version, excessively mean.  She's pointedly mean-spirited and constantly teasing Mr. Darcy about dealing with his in-laws the Bennetts to prove how unsuitable they are.  It's not pleasant to watch.

          Wickham lies to everybody extra overtly.  Lizzy is warned by everyone that Wickham is no good and she takes no notice.  This makes her less sympathetic and even more arrogant feeling and it's not faithful to the book.  The whole point is that he is so charming that everyone is completely deceived by him until everything hits the fan at once.  Lizzy, the whole family, the whole of their society, they all thought he was the greatest.  He is much less villainous if Lizzy is the only one who doesn't notice or listen that he's bad news.  It makes Lizzy dumb, stubborn, and far less likable.

          I do like their version of Mr. Collins.  He's still a bumbling fool, but he's a believable person, you can imagine him existing (unlike the Mr. Collins in 2005 who is a cartoon).  This Collins is still a fool but you can see why Charlotte would marry him whereas in some other versions you really cannot, even knowing she's afraid for her future.

          There is one other big problem for me.  After Darcy's infamous failed proposal to Elizabeth, this movie has dramatic internal dialogues.  They are awful.  In the 1995 BBC mini-series, they also have flashbacks, only this is more along the lines of the way people actually revisit portions of an emotional argument.  It ends with Darcy realizing he can defend himself in some way and sets about to write a letter.  In this version, they have internal dialogues that feel as though they are intended to explain what just happened and how everyone feels.  If you have to dramatically explain what's happening to the audience you haven't done a good job of setting up the scenes in the movie.  If you have to explain how the characters feel after a proposal scene, you haven't demanded enough emotional performance from them.  There is no excuse for this version not setting all of this up properly because this mini-series is many hours long.  Tell me a story, do not tell me how to think and feel about it.  Sigh.  I can't stand it.

5. Pride & Prejudice: a latter-day comedy 2003

This is officially the worst adaptation of a Jane Austen novel that I've ever seen.  It's simply the worst.  It's so bad in fact, I'm not even sure where to start.  I guess with the title.  It's called Pride & Prejudice: a latter-day comedy.  As in, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also known as Mormonism.  So, yes, this is a Mormon Pride and Prejudice, and that explains at least a few of the odd things that happen in this story as you'll see in my review.  

Let's just start with the very beginning.  It opens with this line "It is a truth universally acknowledged that a girl of a certain age and in a certain situation in life must be in want of a husband.  I guess I was in that situation and according to my mother I'd passed that age quite some time ago."  So from the very beginning we know this is going to be a sad adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.  Whereas the original opening of Pride and Prejudice, “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife,” is a facetious statement that is witty and clever, poking fun at the "desperate mothers" of the Regency era trying to marry off their daughters to rich men whose only aim in life must be to get married, of course, this 2003 opening is not funny.  It is not clever.  This opening line about women needing to get married is sad.  It sounds desperate and pathetic.  And the fact that we find out Lizzy is only 26 and apparently agrees with this sentiment does not make us like it any better.  

I recommend you do not watch this movie.  If you're curious about what makes this movie so bad, I'll give you a breakdown.  If you want to be in confusion, or pain, then by all means, watch it yourself.  But don't say I didn't warn you.  So here goes.

Elizabeth Bennet an aspiring writer of Napoleonic techno fantasy - I wish I was kidding

So Lizzy, apparently is a writer in this version of Pride and Prejudice and she's living with a bunch of housemates as they all attend college.  They are not sisters, just housemates and friends.  Jane, her best friend is apparently Argentinian (this way we can sort of racistly have latin music playing whenever someone sees her and thinks she's beautiful, or as she falls in love and she and Charles dance, but don't worry this is only the beginning, it gets much worse).  Jane and Charles Bingley are the only likeable people in this entire movie.  Mr. Darcy is almost likeable, but the movie is so stupid, and he is so dumb in it that we find it hard to like him as well.  And Elizabeth Bennet is not likeable at all, even though she is the protagonist.   

Jane Vasquez - the adorable Argentinian best friend

I spent a great deal of this movie cackling at it.  For instance, Jane describes Elizabeth's novel as the world's only Napoleonic techno fantasy romance.  I rewound that as I said "what?" and laughed so hard.  There are a lot of moments throughout this movie that are only funny in a, "you said what?" kind of way.  Sadly, the movie thought this was serious, it might have been more fun if it had taken itself less seriously. 

Darcy isn't just shy and perceived as insulting, he's actually insulting to Elizabeth in this version.  She works at a bookstore and when he comes in he's not only rude and dismissive towards her, he tells her boss if she "spent more time shelving, and less time patronizing customers, you might sell more books."  Later when he sees her outside of the bookstore it's like he's meeting her for the first time and doesn't remember being insulting or rude or dismissive of her in the bookstore.

Darcy who is actually rude and then does nothing objectionable after that

Charles Bingley is adorable.  He's pretty clueless but he's cute and harmless.  He's a sweetheart.  We are told he was supposed to join the family company, but he couldn't handle corporate law.  His sister tells us that Charles made a line of classical music for dogs.  Random no?  But somehow very endearing.  

Charles Bingley - he's adorable as this smile

Our bad boy, Jack Wickham, is the funniest, but not because he means to be.  I think he has a creepy smile.  But his dialogue is what makes him so funny.  He invites Elizabeth to play pool and Mr. Collins informs us Jack doesn't even attend church anymore.  That's clearly how we know he's a bad boy.  And here is the exchange between Elizabeth and Jack while playing pool. 

Jack Wickham - relatively disease free - proposing marriage over a game of pool

Elizabeth: "What do you think of that?"

Jack: "I think you're beautiful."

Elizabeth: "Pay attention to the game." 

Jack: "I tell you what, you sink that nine ball and I'll take you to Vegas right now and marry you."

Elizabeth: "I'm solids, you're stripes."

Jack: "Alright then the six ball."

Elizabeth: "You're on."

(She misses and I gather we're meant to think it's intentional.) 

Jack: "Oh come on! I mean I'm a young, good looking, I'm very good looking, relatively disease free individual, you sure you don't wanna just get married?"

Elizabeth: "I don't love you Jack."

I don't know about you but I think this is hilarious.  The bad boy instantly proposing marriage over a game of pool is super funny to me.  Our bad boy is not trying to have his wicked way with the ladies and leave them discarded without virtue.  Nope.  He's proposing.  Only in a Mormon version of Pride and Prejudice would this make any sense out of the bad boy character.  Also, maybe I have a strange sense of humour but I find it super amusing that he announces to her that he's good looking and relatively disease free as inducements to marriage.  What an admission to make during a marriage proposal.  Also, let's just take a moment to contemplate a version of Pride and Prejudice where Wickham proposes marriage first, before Mr. Collins, and in the least realistic way out of all the characters.  So bad, it's amazing.  Collins does propose in a very cringe-worthy way, but he is sincere in his attachment to Elizabeth (or at least in his surface level infatuation), whereas Jack is not but wants to marry Elizabeth anyway?

Lydia and Kitty feel like they are borrowed from every recent rendition of a modern Cinderella, where the step sisters are plotting and clueless.  To say Kitty is vapid is an understatement.  Lydia isn't just pursuing anyone, she's after Charles Bingley at first and then naturally falls victim to Jack Wickham's charms later. 

Lydia and Kitty

Mary is also very sad in this version.  She does a horrible rendition of the song My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean.  Darcy insults Mary's horrible singing saying she is "socially inept, talentless and unattractive" a thing that nobody can really argue with in these circumstances.  But apparently this is what Elizabeth finds most insulting, not when he actually insulted her to her face.  

Mary singing very poorly

Our Darcy is of course English.  But he's from California apparently.  So after insulting Elizabeth to her face in the bookstore and Mary at the party, he sees her at the tennis courts and is apparently smitten.  Just like that.  Now that I've not interacted with you at all, and only been rude to you in person before, I'm now entirely into you.  So Darcy awkwardly offers to teach Elizabeth tennis.  

Then very early we have the out of nowhere proposal from Collins.  And it's so painful I feel I need to give you the lines. 

An extremely frightening proposal from Collins

Collins: "Elizabeth?  Elizabeth.  We've been seeing each other frequently for some time now.  And

Elizabeth: Collins, I uh,

he puts his finger on her lips. 

Collins: Please Elizabeth don't interrupt. Ok, now even though there are many disadvantages to choosing you, I've thought it through and I'm willing to overlook the things about you that I hate.  Your overbite among others.  

Elizabeth: Please no.

Collins: Ok, we can do it that way. 

he kneels and holds out a ring.  She closes the ring box. 

Collins: I can see that you're playing a mind game.  Mom always says that sometimes when a girl says no she means yes.  

Elizabeth: Well, I mean no. 

Collins I don't get you but I want to.

Elizabeth: Collins, I'm really flattered but you wouldn't make me happy and I know I wouldn't make you happy 

Collins: Elizabeth, after all the time we spent together, I

Elizabeth: You were paying me to cut your hair

Collins: Cut my hair, is practically a scalp massage. The way you dug in there with your fingers.  Look Elizabeth, the point is, I always thought that I would marry an old fashioned girl. But I find your forward feminist ways very exciting.  

Elizabeth: Collins I'm not sure what I did to lead you on. But please stop.  

Collins: Elizabeth we've been commanded to multiply and replenish the Earth. 

Elizabeth: No. No, huh ha. 

Where to even start with this?  Everything about it is horrifying.  Not only is it disgusting that Collins was apparently "led on" by getting haircuts.  Since when did our novelist who is a mechanical engineer student also cut hair?  What I find worse is that she accepts that she is to blame for it.  She doesn't say, I don't know how you thought I was into you.  She says I don't know what I did to lead you on.  She didn't lead him on.  And accepting blame like this is what is so corrosive about our modern society, putting the blame on women when the men are the sole possessors of actual wrong doing, or total misinterpretation according to their own fantasy life.  Collins has been pseudo-stalking her.  It was not anything Elizabeth did wrong.  

Also, how disgusting is it that Collins says his mother has taught him that when a woman says no she means yes.  And again, we don't disabuse him of that.  She only clarifies that she means no, not that this is a really bad assumption to make about women's feelings or intentions.  Yes, I know that Collins is not supposed to be a paragon of virtue and good behavior.  But I find this so offensive that watching this exchange actually spikes my anxiety.  Not only do I cringe, I feel actively frightened by this thought process.  The very thought that he is not disabused of his ideas makes me deeply uneasy.  Collins is actively scary in this scene.  This is not lessened by the context of the scene earlier with Jack Wickham where Collins says if Jack ever touches him again he will punch Jack in the throat.  Collins is very seriously terrifying.  He's the "self-righteous nice guy" version of a real life Gaston and there is actually no telling where his "nice guy" entitlement will lead him.

If you were not already inclined to think that Mormonism was a bit scary in it's attitudes towards women, you'd be hard pressed not to feel that way after watching this movie.  This is not least because we also watch Collins preach a sermon about how unjust it was of Elizabeth to reject his marriage proposal.  He goes on about how it is the DUTY of the woman to accept a proposal from any man who can be loosely deemed "worthy".  There is no leeway given for feelings.  If the man is acceptable she should say yes, no matter what she thinks or feels.  In this way he can take care of her and she can drop out of school and stay home like she's supposed to.  It's another terrifying scene.  Nobody disagrees with him or corrects him.  My skin actually crawls listening to it.  And it is not made less scary for the addition of a fantasy sequence where Elizabeth imagines throwing a Bible at Collin's head while he continues going on about how proud she is.  To what lengths would the nice guy who knows he is worthy and has been unjustly dumped go to get revenge against Elizabeth, or her next boyfriend?  He could very well turn violent.  It would be no surprise to me.  

This is the first time in the movie, but not the last, that we get a random fantasy sequence.  The next fantasy sequence we are treated to is super odd, but considering the how odd the rest of the scene is, I suppose it makes sense.  Out of nowhere Charles disappears from the story.  He emails Jane and tells her he got permission to search some lake for some ancient Native American burials.  So apparently he is now an underwater archeologist.  I kid you not.  This feels so abrupt that we are equally as confused as Jane and Elizabeth, but mainly because we didn't expect him to be an underwater archeologist.  Elizabeth says she hopes his air tank leaks.  And we see a fantasy scene of Charles dead on the lake shore.  Upsetting and odd.  This does not make us like Elizabeth more. 

Where do they come up with these ideas?

Next Jane tells us she was also proposed to by Collins.  Later we find out that Charles saw Collins proposing to Jane and thought it was real and that Jane was engaged now and that's why he disappears.  I don't know why we couldn't have just watched that little interaction, it would have made more sense.  But we don't.  Honestly, only in a Mormon version of Pride and Prejudice would someone see Collins proposing and actually believe that Jane would say yes to him as a foregone conclusion.  But I digress.  Jane is such a sweetheart that even though she's crying about the loss of Charles she is still concerned about how Collins will feel after she rejected him.  She laughs a little and says she thinks he'll be ok because she's seen him giving her engagement flowers to Charlotte Lucas.  

Darcy tries to ask Elizabeth out and it's as bad as a second Collins proposal.  He doesn't have legitimate reasons to not be interested in her, like in the book, but he is genuinely insulting to her.  He tells Elizabeth he finds her strangely attractive.  "You're loud, you're disorganized, your friends are an embarrassment, but, um, I, uh, like you.  I don't know why."

Elizabeth's response is fitting for once.  She says simply "are you serious?"

And undeterred from his rudeness he then asks her to have dinner with him.   

Uf, who could resist such romanticism?

In the book he has legitimate concerns about the relationship and her connections, but not with her.  In this version Darcy just insults Elizabeth herself and admits he doesn't even know why he likes her.  How romantic.  Why we love the difficult and spiky proposal from Darcy in the book is that he loves her so much that he can't let the legitimate concerns of family and society deter him from marrying her.  Why we hate this scene is because Darcy doesn't even know why he is attracted to Elizabeth at all.  Nothing romantic or compelling here. 

Elizabeth's novel has found interest in a publisher and she goes to have a meeting with an agent.  On the way her car needs mechanical attention and so she arrives wearing white and covered in engine grease.  She naturally finds that Darcy is the head of the publishing group that is interested in her novel.  He is trying to be pleasant, and put her at ease, knowing this is an unexpected surprise.  But Elizabeth is unpleasant throughout.  She is sullen, and then rude and lastly combative in a completely unsympathetic way.  He tackles a difficult situation with grace and tries to be professional.  He has genuine critiques of her novel.  She can't handle any of them.  She can't even handle that it is considered a romance novel.  Which I think Darcy handles well by saying "it's not a put down, it's a category".  

Somehow even looking at the grease she doesn't realize she should be embarrassed

Elizabeth is terrible at this lunch.  She launches into an explanation of how many drafts she's already done.  That doesn't mean it doesn't need more editing.  Every real writer knows that no matter how many drafts you've done there's always more that can be done to perfect a work.  D&G publishing is prepared to buy her book as is and have someone else fix it.  It's a great offer for an aspiring novelist still in college.  Somehow Elizabeth can't understand that her book isn't perfect as is.  Elizabeth goes off on a rant and completely embarrasses herself and we don't think she is justified, we don't' feel sorry for her.  In fact she accuses Darcy of meddling in Jane and Charles' love life, and a few other things that he really hasn't done.  She's completely wrong.  He's done nothing wrong at all and we feel sorry for Darcy.  

The real reason that Wickham is a bad boy is also very funny to me.  He took Darcy's sister to Vegas where they eloped.  He ran up enormous gambling debts and maxed out her credit cards, then called Darcy to tell him about it.  Darcy agreed to settle the debts if Jack sought help for his gambling addiction, but as soon as the debts were paid, Jack disappeared.  Darcy's sister wanted a divorce, but they found out it was unnecessary because Wickham was still legally married to another girl.  Oh you bad boy, Wickham, marrying all the girls.  It's funny to me that he proposes almost as often as Collins.   

I do like that Jane and Elizabeth are both depressed together and though they tried to go out and be social they can't muster happiness.  Their friendship is cute.  But then it's kind of ruined by yet another very odd fantasy scene.  The tv starts playing and tells us that "two girls were found dead in their apartment today, apparently from an overdose of phenodihydrochloride-benzorex a preservative found in ice cream.  The bodies were discovered when a pet dog started carrying a toe in his mouth.  That toe has now been positively identified as that of promising young novelist E. L. Bennet, whose debut novel the Iron Carriage has been published to universal acclaim and optioned as a major Hollywood film."  It's surreal and odd and a little scary to have it be so matter of factly the ice cream that killed them.  It's not funny, it's just weird.  And just in case you're wondering, there is no such drug or preservative at all.  It's entirely made up.

I do love that we see a commercial for Charles Bingley's Classics for Canines Collection.  Somehow it's completely charming even though it's super random.  Mozart for Misbehavior is so cute.  And somehow it's funny that Wagner for the Vicious can trigger spontaneously violent behavior in German shepherds too.  

The Charles Bingley Classics for Canine's Collection - somehow really cute

I think it's really cute that Jane is coaxed into going grocery shopping just because they are out of ice cream.  When they've filled their cart with ice cream and feminine hygiene products I like that Lydia chastises them saying "Why don't we just put up a big neon sign that says, 'Men, run for your lives, menstruating monsters approaching'.  You girls need to snap out of it.... We have got to get you out of the gutter.  No ice cream.  No tlc.  No reaching sticks.  No baggy clothes."  It's kind of funny.  It's better than much of this film manages, I'm laughing with it in this one case, not at it.   

I can't stand the Pink Bible they are constantly reading out of to figure out how to capture men.  I can't stand that it even advises them what food to buy and eat in order to attract men.  It's so repulsive it's not even a tiny bit comical.  

It's cute they help Mary figure out how to talk to Collins and encourage her to call him.  They help her get all made-up to go on a date with Collins.  It's cute that she gets a happily ever after with Collins in this version.  

Collins and Mary finally have a happily ever after in this version

There's a random song in the background that you hear the lyrics $50 haircut on a 10 cent head.  I don't know why, but I loved this intruding upon the movie.  It should have been playing over Collins.  It wasn't.

Elizabeth is randomly offered a TA position in a study abroad program in London.  This apparently propells our plot foward in a lot of ways.  Jane and Elizabeth who are besties decide to go on a hike before she leaves so that they can sneak some ice cream together.  So they ride off into the mountains where we suddenly and unaccountably run into Charles Bingley.  Jane leaps out of the car runs over to Charles' motorcycle and he tries to mumble something about Darcy telling him everything.  She doesn't listen or supply any clarifying points of her own.  No, she rips his goggles off his face and starts kissing him.  That's how she gets back together with Charles.  Then they ride off together all apparently well.  

Jane and Charles Bingley get back together

Elizabeth is now alone in the woods and decides to continue working on her rewrite of her novel.  She falls asleep and has a dream that's possibly from her novel.  But then she wakes up and it's dark and she's now living in that dream.  She's lost in the woods in the rain at night.  She can't find her car, but she does find a cabin and it feels like we've forgotten we are not making a horror movie for a second here.  She knocks on the door and nobody answers so she decides to let herself into this strange cabin in the woods that just happens to be all romantically lit up with candles and a roaring fire.  She finds a picture of Darcy and a woman and realizes that this is Darcy's cabin in the woods, because of course it is.  It's that bad of a movie.  Elizabeth breaks a vase and decides to leave.  Darcy who didn't hear her pounding on the door does hear her break the vase and comes up the stairs with a cricket bat ready to defend himself.  And here is where it gets really weird.  

Elizabeth does not just go down the stairs that she came up to the porch.  No, she throws herself off the porch and is dangling from the edge of it like a sad opossum drenched in the rain.  Hanging by her fingertips from the porch edge as she dangles over the open space below.  Now Darcy walks out and finds her this way and does he say "Oh my God, Elizabeth, is that you? What are you doing here? Are you ok? What's going on?"  No.  No he does not.  He seems completely unconcerned that she is hanging there like a bedraggled opossum.  He smiles and introduces Elizabeth to his sister like this is the most normal situation in the world.  Clearly that's the only rational thing to do while the woman you're supposedly in love with is dangling over a ravine off your porch barely hanging on her with rain-slicked hands.  It's so odd it's amazing.  

Seriously? She's hanging from the porch?

Elizabeth finally apologizes for being completely wrong about all the things she yelled at Will Darcy over their business lunch.  He is entirely too eager to forgive her.  They have a romantic dinner with his sister Anna. Darcy and Elizabeth then have a romantic moment discussing London and look as though they might kiss until Caroline Bingley barges into the cabin unannounced.  So Caroline takes Elizabeth to her car further out in the woods and then lies to Elizabeth saying she is engaged to Will Darcy.  

Darcy and Elizabeth almost have a moment on the couch

I do like that they all rally to save Lydia from Wickham, who is taking her to Vegas to elope.  Surprise, surprise.  He marries all the girls, remember.  He's a bad boy.  Just cannot stop himself from marrying everyone.  They take off driving to catch Lydia and Wickham who left by car that morning.  Charles calls Darcy because he's in California and will be two hours closer to Vegas than they are by car. Elizabeth waits to get gas until they have to push the car into the nearest gas station.  They leave Charles behind accidentally and then he runs the rest of the way to the Chapel in Vegas.  But somehow he's only a few minutes behind them. 

Charles is a very accomplished runner it would seem

The chapel has an usher with a Minnesota/Scottish accent going.  He offers them oatcakes and haggis and plays the bagpipes.  He recognizes Wickham from a previous occasion.  Darcy storms in right before Lydia and Wickham are actually married.  Darcy and Wickham fight.  The police are called and arrive moments after Elizabeth, Kitty and Jane get there.  Wickham is arrested for three counts of bigamy as well as illegal gambling.  Bigamy!  This movie couldn't be more Mormon if it tried.  I howled with laughter at our bad boy being arrested for bigamy.  I thought it was super funny.

Jack Wickham and Lydia about to be married in Vegas

Then it gets weirder if you believe it.  Darcy has been handcuffed, he was one of the two people fighting after all.  Elizabeth still believes Darcy is engaged to Caroline and she leaves to take Lydia back home.  Darcy needs to explain to Elizabeth that he's not engaged to Caroline, so Charles plays Wagner for the Vicious to get the police dog to cause a commotion so that Darcy can escape long enough to chase down (on foot), Elizabeth who is in Lydia's car.  Kitty who is inexplicably driving, runs into Darcy so that he can explain everything to Elizabeth while lying pathetically in the road, beaten run over and handcuffed, where he can finally kiss her briefly before being caught again by the police.  I wish I was kidding about this whole thing.  

Awkward kiss while he lies handcuffed in the street

Elizabeth is so unlikeable and the chemistry between her and Darcy so poor that I don't even care that they get together.  It even feels cruel that they're kissing in the street right after Lydia's marriage fell apart with Jack being arrested for bigamy.  Apparently Darcy explains everything to an understanding judge and is let go so he can follow Elizabeth to London and propose to her there.  Wow, how nice for them, I guess. 

The only part of the ending I do like is that Charles and Jane do marry and that he has a huge financial success in a new business idea Jazz for Cats.  I think they're adorable and I love that he creates Jazz for Cats and it allows them to live a life they've always wanted.  

So there you have it, an impressively bad adaptation of Pride and Prejudice, and a very Mormon one at that with bigamy, everyone desperate to be married and more proposals than you can shake a stick at.  I counted ten proposals.

The Not Quite Austen's 

Then of course there are the not quite Jane Austen's and retellings I've seen.  There are a few of them that are actually retellings of Pride and Prejudice.  But I've decided I'm going to lump them together on a page for all the Jane Austen inspired works.

But for inclusion, I'll list their titles here too.  Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Lost in Austen, and Austenland are all retellings of Pride and Prejudice.

There is even, apparently one episode from the TV series Wagon Train, which is actually a retelling of Pride and Prejudice.  The TV show is a western dealing with pioneers heading west as part of a wagon train.  The June 17, 1959, episode titled “The Steele Family” is actually a retelling of Pride and Prejudice.  I haven't seen this one, but I'd be interested to hear anyone's impressions who has.

To see my ranking of the Not Quite Austen's you can go here. 

Yet More Pride and Prejudice Adaptations

I'm sure there are even more adaptations than these.  These are just the versions I know about that I have not yet watched.

I have not seen the following:

Pride and Prejudice 1949 one hour episode (recording does exist) very simplified highlights of the book not a feature film on the story.  Jane Austen helps narrate the simplified story in this version.

Pride and Prejudice 1967 mini-series (recording does exist)
Pride and Prejudice 2014 mini-series

There were more adaptations made in the early days of TV but the following list has been lost to time or was never recorded in the first place:
Pride and Prejudice 1938 mini-series (never recorded) it was a live filmed play more than a movie

Pride and Prejudice 1952 (never recorded)
Pride and Prejudice 1956 (lost)
Pride and Prejudice 1958 mini-series  (lost)
Pride and Prejudice 1958 by General Motors Presents (lost)

If you are interested in the earlier and lost versions of Pride and Prejudice you can read a fascinating article about it here.  Many of these very early TV versions were performed live on television, more like a play than a movie, and never recorded at all.  I think it's a fascinating piece of film and TV history that I knew nothing about until I started this project and did some research.  The article is very interesting and thorough, I highly recommend it.

Have you seen any of these versions?  Did you like them?  Do you disagree with my rankings and my reviews?  Feel free to let me know in the comments.

To see my ranking of every Jane Austen Adaptation, go here.

Or for other movie discussions you can look at the following pages:

For my discussion/ranking of all the Persuasion Adaptations, you can go here.
For my discussion/ranking of all the Emma Adaptations, you can go here.
For my discussion/ranking of all the Sense and Sensibility Adaptations, you can go here.
For my discussion/ranking of all the Mansfield Park Adaptations, you can go here.
For my discussion/ranking of all the Northanger Abbey Adaptations, you can go here.

For my discussion of the Lady Susan Adaptation (Love and Friendship), you can go here. 

For my discussion/ranking of all the "Not-Quite-Austen's" you can go here.

I also have a page dedicated to all things Austen 

All Things Jane Austen