A Real List of Crazy, Weird and one or two Bushy Eyebrows

I feel like the internet isn't as useful as it used to be.  Now when you search for something in google it feels like you get only the most recently talked about things and it's hard to find anything else.

The other day I tried looking up something related to Hercules and all I could find was stuff related to some new game.  I don't care if it's the best mobile game ever created.  If I look up Hercules and I can't even get one search result including a Wikipedia page for Hercules, let alone one including his legendary adventures and labors, something has gone horribly wrong. 

To illustrate my point even more clearly I will use a random search I was performing today.  I remember seeing an older actor who had these crazy bushy eyebrows.

And the search words "british actor with crazy eyebrows" brought me Will Poulter.  I grant you, he has distinctive eyebrows but I would not call them crazy. 

This list of famous eyebrows was disappointing, only a few of them were even interesting.

https://www.gq.com/gallery/19-eyebrows-as-famous-as-the-men-who-own-them

And then there was this list of "insane" eyebrows.

https://www.imdb.com/list/ls070780793/

If your article has a list of 21 names claiming to be insane, is it too much to ask for at least one of them to be interesting?  I thought not.

 You ask which actor has the most insane eyebrows?

And then you suggest that normal looking male actors belong on that list.  Nicholas Cage, Joan Crawford, Colin Farrell, Lee Pace.  Come on!  Well, I say you're crazy.  Nobody on your list has crazy eyebrows. 

When you say insane eyebrows I expect more of the following:

Photo from this article

Granted there are not his normal eyebrows, he's made up for Dune.  This is Freddie Jones by the way.  But if you say insane eyebrows I want pictures like this.  Not of Nicholas Cage with his normal eyebrows.  Or Whoopi Goldberg, Peter Gallagher, Jack Nicholson.  Come on!

I mean really, are you crazy?  If you say insane eyebrows and that's the list you give me, or Will Poulter, whose eyebrows are distinctive sure, but are nothing like what I'm looking for, are you doing your job as a search engine?

I say not.

Now let me show you what I think are "insane eyebrows", or at the very least weird eyebrows.  Not just normal eyebrows that happen to be slightly distinctive or slightly bushy.

Let me show you what I was looking for.  I couldn't remember this man's name, so I tried googling him.  I knew he was a British actor, with a round face and strange eyebrows.  

His name is David Hemmings by the way.  For more on him you can read this article or this one that that picture came from.  And yes these are his real eyebrows.

Looking very classy with his pointy bushy eyebrows. Photo via this article.

But if you search for British actor with a round face and strange eyebrows you get this:

This!  First of all most of these are models with perfect eyebrows, the non image search isn't any better.  But let's take a moment to appreciate how bad the search results for this are.  One of these guys definitely doesn't have strange eyebrows, he has Alopecia, he doesn't have ANY eyebrows.  This is not to say he's less interesting as a person, he just doesn't have the insane eyebrows I was looking for.  

Now look at the text search that Google offered for this. 

Anyway, I thought it was appallingly lacking in any of the things I was actually searching for.  

But let's get back to the issue.  There are some people with really strange eyebrows out there.  And since you can't find them through normal means, just searching for strange eyebrows, let me give you some of them.

Here is a picture of Denis Healey from an article about his politics to be found here.  

I personally think his eyebrows should have been on a list of interesting eyebrows.

Then there is Archbishop Rowan Williams:

Archbishop Rowan Williams

And then there's Bernard Ingram 

Bernard Ingram

This guy came up under big noses, but I think his eyebrows are more of a salient feature myself.  

I can't even find this man's name but here is where I found his image.

Then there's Brezhnev

From the BBC page here.

And then there's Robert Morley Allan Warren

This next guy is really more of an honourable mention, but he's still better than that list I showed you above.

And ok, ok, the list did have a few guys with legitimately bushy eyebrows.  But that was the best they could do, not really crazy.

They at least included Eugene Levy with his bushy eyebrows.

Bushy yes, crazy?  I wouldn't say so.

And last but not least, if I search for crazy eyebrows.

And if you're going to show me perfect female models when I search for crazy eyebrows, I expect them to at least look like this.

This came from the following article.

Is it the most important thing in the world, no?  But, when I look up random search terms I don't like getting endless perfect models no matter what I search.  I want some of them to be at least in the ballpark of what I'm looking for.  If I look for crazy, weird, strange, bushy eyebrows, I want them to be at least a little interesting to look at.  

And no, bushy eyebrows aren't important.  But I feel like I keep running into this whenever I try to search something.  The search engine seems geared towards whatever is newest and popular even if it's not a good fit for what I'm actually trying to look up.

It's infuriating.

And that is my rant about how I don't think one of the most helpful tools of modern life is helpful enough for me. I'm going to go do something more useful with my time now.

But in the meantime if you're looking for some photos of crazy eyebrows, as one occasionally does, I hope these help.